International Adoption

Kids are not resilient, they don't bounce back. I hate hearing those phrases.  When people say them I give them a look that is between a grimace and a smirk.  We say these things to make ourselves feel better about our decisions.  We say these things because we don't know what else to say. We say them, because we hope that our kids will just snap out of it. My opinion is that kids absorb, retain and recycle the pain, fear and grief that has happened to them. They relive the pain when they are sad about something else. When their anger is triggered, the rage that follows has nothing to do with the current squabble but everything to do with situations that… [more]

Today, my facebook friends' list is overflowing with commentary regarding the catastrophic tragedy in Haiti. While everyone is more than sympathetic, I have to admit that while I've managed to refrain from getting into huge debates I have been unable to keep my commenting to a minimum. The status updates start off quite innocuously with a discussion about the U.S.'s financial contribution to Haiti. This is not a political blog, and I have no interest in discussing that specific tenant of said topic in this forum. However, more often than not (on my friends' status updates) the topic changes immediately to anti-adoption sentiment. Not anti-adoption in general, mind you--anti-international adoption. Naturally, there are no broad claims… [more]

Today's post is all about risk. As adoptive parents (or prospective adoptive parents, biological parents, and the like), there's risk to be found everywhere. There's obviously risk in adoption (both domestic and international), in raising a child, and so on. Life is essentially full of risks, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. Some risks taken can produce an outcome more beautiful than you could have ever possibly imagined. I have limited experience with domestic agencies (Robyn, want to weigh in on this one?), but it's my understanding that you are provided with as much medical information about your child's birth mom (and maybe birth father, too) as possible (at least that's what our agency states on their website)… [more]

I've written in previous blogs about the heartbreak I feel when I hear adoptive parents of internationally-born children state that their child has no real knowledge or understanding of his/her birth mom. It bothers me to the core. I almost always speak up, but today I was almost rendered speechless. While my kids were napping earlier this afternoon, I read a blog entry authored by an adoptive parent of a son born in Russia; long story short, he and his wife decided they would never tell their child he was adopted. Still with me? Picking your jaw up off the floor? Yeah, I was too. I can't begin to describe the many, many, many reasons I feel it is vitally important… [more]

Please note: This blog entry is not intended to breed panic, but otherwise offer perspective as to some of what's being said about the current/future status of Ethiopian adoptions. Please be aware of your rights as a perspective adoptive parent and follow through with your best judgment on selecting an agency/country of choice when facilitating an international adoption and examining it as such from all angles. The thoughts discussed here are completely my own, personal sentiments and in no way representative of those of adoptionblogs.com or adoption.com. Now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about Ethiopian adoptions. As many (most?) of the regular readers know, my husband and I set forth to adopt a… [more]

As most anyone reading here probably has some investment and level of interest in international adoptions, I'm fairly certain many of you have already read Adoption.com's Trends in International Adoptions 2004-2009. In short, the State Department publishes the total number of adoptions per fiscal year (the 2009 fiscal year taking place from October 1, 2008 to September 30, 2009) on its website, thus making the information and statistical breakdown available to the public.  The article continues to state: As laws change in the United States as well as in the country in which the children adopted internationally originate, the number of children who come to the U.S. for international adoption will fluctuate. An example of how law change… [more]

And by "being an advocate", I don't mean being an advocate for adoption. I mean being an advocate for your child. This goes without saying, I know. If you suspect your child has delays--regardless of whether he or she is biological or adopted--it is your responsibility as a parent to seek attention and assistance in whatever form necessary to benefit your child's well being. However, many internationally born children face some developmental delays, be it physically, emotionally, in language, or so on. When Beauty arrived home from Guatemala at nine months of age, she couldn't hold her head up when placed on her stomach, let alone roll, crawl, or sit up. She had never eaten off a spoon and was unable… [more]

Ah, the question of visit trips: to take them or not to take them? Sometimes there's just no choice in the matter. Depending on your child's birth country, you might be required to take a visit trip prior to the traveling you will do when your child returns home with your family. Some countries require a lengthy stay or multiple visits. But what if you aren't required to take said visit trip? Ultimately, my knee-jerk response is "go if you can". Aside from the fact that it might be your first opportunity to meet your precious child, you'll be able to experience more of your child's birth country with every day you spend abroad.  Above all, it can be a time… [more]

You might have heard (or perhaps you even saw it air on CBS yesterday) about the Samoan adoption scandal--a scandal believed to be one of the largest--if not the largest--of its kind in U.S. history: CBS News will present, "The Lost Children," a "48 Hours" special, on Saturday, Dec. 12 at 10 p.m. ET/PT - the culmination of a two-year investigation by "48 Hours" into one of the largest foreign adoption scams in U.S. history. Anchored by "48 Hours" correspondent Maureen Maher, who herself was adopted, "The Lost Children" profiles three families - Patti Sawyer, Mike and Kari Nyberg, and Elizabeth and Gary Muenzler - who adopted children from the South Pacific island of Samoa through the Utah-based Focus On Children adoption… [more]