Continuing the discussion between Adoption Search/Birth First Parent blogger Jan Baker and myself, that started out very badly ... You'd think by my age I'd be savvy enough to 'get' that much of what looks like anger is fear and pain, or the fear of pain. I am well aware of how very often that is the case with me, but somehow managed to do a lot of knee-jerking... more

I'm going to post all these together and let Jan have a chance to jump in. This is the last of the email conversation I've been writing about in my last 2 posts. There were points where Jan and I agreed, and I could feel myself beginning to feel something familiar coming from the opposite side of the chasm, but I was still really pushy with my points. (Me ... pushy! ... go figure.)

If you want... more

Back to the Jan and Sandra, Birth Mom vs. Adoptive Mom, wrestling match:

Assumptions were being made on both our parts. Here's me reacting to one from her:

That is not in any way a blanket distain for birth mothers. It is also not a reaction to feeling threatened, but of being insulted.

Adoptive moms ...that's the name we're allowed. We're neither real nor natural, and no matter how often I read "the... more

If you're reading both my take on the bridge building between birth mom, Jan, and adoptive mom, me, and Jan's, you've learned that the two of us have a heck of a lot in common; we're of the same era, neither is the shy, retiring type, and we were both teen brides with buns in the oven as we hopefully took our vows with fingers crossed ... dodging a bullet, as Jan says. To carry the commonality even a step further, we both now blog for Adoption.Com.

Funny... more

This is the second in a series about the process Jan Baker and I went through trying to understand each other's perspective on adoption. See Jan's blog for the view from her side. So, Jan made a touching comment on my blog, and how did I respond? By biting her head off, of course.

By the time this came around, I'd lost my pussy-foot shoes and figured if I was ever to get to any nitty-gritty... more

Adoption Search and Birth/First Parent blogger, Jan Baker, and I have spent the past few months annoying the bejeezus out of each other. We come to adoption from different directions ... she's a birth mom / I'm an adoptive mom ... and we're both just a bit opinionated and a lot passionate about most things in life, so arrived at the blogging table here at Adoptionblogs.Com with hefty agendas.

Early on, we both... more

Sam went to Grandma's yesterday afternoon. She picked him up after work and they had a nice walk down to her house at the beach.

I took advantage of the break to finish up some work, then do some one-on-one with Cj that we don't get enough opportunities for on most days, as at three plus, Big Brother is not fond of being out of the attention loop for long.

Grandma's house is all about one-on-one and she rarely takes more than one grandchild at a time. Mark's sister's two rotate their visits, always have, and although... more

With very little background, if any, available on our internationally adopted children, the idea that they may very well have bio sibs in the birth country, the orphanage or adopted by other families, perhaps in your country of residence, is one that arises naturally.

Amazingly, sibling relationships are established more often than some would think possible. A bit of remembered history, something in the child's documentation, a chance encounter with an information exchange that raises questions ... any can pose questions that want answers.

Sometimes... more

A number of readers, while conveying very nice birthday wishes (Thank you!), have commented on the fact that the timing of my birth puts me in that category of astrological identifiers known as Leo.

Yep. A lion I was born, and a lion I will always be ... except when I'm a rabbit.

The day and month of my first appearance on the planet dictate, in terms of Western astrology, my Leo-ness. The year of my birth, in the Chinese horoscope, puts me smack-dab in the middle of rabbit-hood ... a Metal Rabbit, to be exact.

A Leo is ... more

With Michelle over on the Foster Adopt blog, and a load of folks on the forums talking about the right time to add siblings to the family mix, if at all, this report caught my eye this morning.

It's a hot topic on the playground, how much time is the right amount between siblings?

If you have a choice in the matter, is it better to have kids one after the other or wait a few years?

... more