On the topic of traveling for new additions in the company of your kids ...

We've been talking about taking kids along when traveling to adopt another, and the debate that goes with making a decision to take or not to take.

If you're adopting an infant, your hands will be full ... literally. A new baby will need to be the primary focus of its new parents as it adjusts to unfamiliar faces, smells, sounds and surroundings. Attachment is vital from the get-go, and to attach you need to be attached, physically. Touching, holding, cuddling, stroking, eye contact, long discussions about the color of the sky and the numbers of leaves on trees must take up every minute of the time your child is awake those first weeks, especially the days when the orphanage or foster home is still imprinted on the little one's mind as the place of comfort and safety.

An older child will need this as much or more than a baby. Toddlers will understand that they don't understand a word being said by these funny-looking folks now apparently in charge of stuff. They will miss their nanny or foster mother and the children they'd come to know as family, and they'll grieve for their loss.

Older kids might be frustrated by communication issues, and they may be scared to death. Their background perhaps prepared them for the possibility of abuse and left them with an inability to reach out or trust in any way. There can be physical issues resulting from malnutrition or institutional regimens or fetal drug or alcohol exposure. They may not know how to eat without gorging or sleep without total exhaustion.

Reactions to new circumstances can range from smiles and hugs to punches and kicks, and there will be no time for parental inattention.

Logistics also need to be factored in before a decision is reached as to how much of the family will be traveling. It's a simple rule of math (at least in my book) that two adults attending one child is an equal match. If the equation changes by adding another child, the parents are immediately outnumbered. 2K ÷ 2A= :~0! (Two kids divided by two adults equals potential mayhem.) Plus, there's the fact that the costs go up with each additional airline ticket, hotel bed and restaurant meal.

All that being said, in my next post I'll write about why I think taking your kids along is a wonderful idea.