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At the Ethiopian Heritage and Culture camp I went to last weekend we were able to ask questions to adult adoptees and first generation Americans many questions. This was a very valuable time for me to learn what is important to my kids once they are adults. Something they stressed over and over again was that as adults it was important to know about their heritage and they encouraged parents to keep their kids active in the their birth or families culture. They also laughed about not always wanting to learn about Ethiopia, but they were glad thier parents kept pushing it on them.
This hit home to me because just a few weeks ago Mita was angry and said,”Why do you keep talking about Ethiopia. We only think about it because you talk about it all the time.” My response was something along the lines of,”Yes, we talk about it. It is your past, your family and is now apart of our family. I want you to remember where you came from.”
At the time I thought I may have been a bit harsh, but I have found that being firm, yet loving seems to work the best with my girls.
Another thing the panel talked about was that the lack of language skills was hard for them. One adult adoptee was opening emotional about having lost her language as a child (she was seven when she came to the US). Her twin sister, however, wanted nothing to do with Ethiopian culture and didn’t mind not speaking the language. This showed me that everyone handles things in their own time and I have to be mindful of that with Mita and Enu. They are so different in many ways they may also deal with culture and grief differently.
Coming aways from this conference I felt solid in knowing that I should keep talking about Ethiopia with my family and that I should be stressing language a bit more. So I will be using more Amharic words in the house, and you can bet we will be back to culture camp next year as well!
As my girls are still young and haven’t hit the teen years yet, I would love to hear from parents who have already experienced teen-hood. Do teenagers generally want to know about their culture and heritage or do the tend to “buck the system” and act as if they don’t care?
Also, I would love to hear how you keep your child’s homeland heritage active in your family.
Photo Credit: Mandy W 2009
