International Adoption Blog

06/16/07

Another Adoptive Parent Contribution


With Jan Baker taking the time to laud adoptive parents and their contributions toward the betterment of adoption in the world on her recent blog, I'm inspired to expand on the topic a bit today in support of her tribute.

Coming across this story out of Korea feels like providence incarnate, as the example it illustrates is perfect for the discussion.

A dad to a Korean-born daughter adopted almost twenty years ago, Dr. Richard Boas, an ophthalmologist from Connecticut, is a passionate man with deep commitments. Inspired by his child and compelled to do what he can for the good as he saw it, he eventually started up, in conjunction with other Connecticut adoptive parents, The Adoption Foundation at Family and Children's Agency to help middle-income families with international adoption funding, financially aiding about 15 families in their adoptions.

A birth country visit in October 2006, and a reading of Marie Myung-Ok Lee's book "Somebody's Daughter" ... Marie, by the way was one of us original 26 bloggers hired here ... shifted his focus.

"As grateful as I am that Esther came into my life -- and that I had the great privilege of bringing her up, of being her father and seeing her grow into a fine young woman -- it pains me to see any woman give up her child because people and the government won't support her," Boas said.

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Upon learning that an estimated 70% of unwed mothers in Korea relinquish their children to adoption ... compared to less than 2% in the US ... he began investigating the South Korean social welfare system, found it greatly lacking in support of unwed mothers, and saw a way he could help woman position themselves in ways that would allow more of them to keep and raise their own children.

"Koreans have a golden opportunity to really evolve and do so well by these kids and their mothers. I think when you really come down to it, the economic price and the social price is relatively small.


Dr. Boas now provides funds to a San Francisco foundation called, Give 2 Asia, and supports other organizations like The Single Mother's Network, Aeranwon, an organization that provides support to young, single mothers in South Korea, and the Korean Woman Workers Association.

Dr. Boas -- one more in a very long and ever-growing list of adoptive parents contributing every day toward improvements in the world of adoption, and working to level the field on which adoption takes place ... the field of poverty, social stigma, family condemnation and hopelessness.

Comments, Pingbacks:

Comment from: Heather Lowe [Member] Email · http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/
He sounds like a great guy. I love both of his quotes.
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 05:27
Comment from: soblessed [Member] Email
What a great guy!! He sounds so committed and very passionate. I agree about the quotes, Heather....inspiring.
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 08:11
Comment from: Abby [Member] Email · http://adoptee.adoptionblogs.com
Great post!!!!

Abby
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 08:57
Comment from: romee_1101 [Member] Email
Yes! It amazes me that so many adoptive parents (and adoptees) are "giving back" to the countries from whence they adopted and NO ONE wants to talk about it (except in the context of - look, this adoptive parent saw the light).

I read the article and I think it is absolutely laudable and crucial that we alleviate the reasons that many birthmothers give up their children.

What this does not mean, however, is that suddenly there will be NO MORE CHILDREN needing adoption. That just fries my cupcakes when I hear that logic. I think that adoption reform will put a dent in the "for profit" motivations of some of the unethical people involved in adoption, but there will still be orphans and abondoned children (and infants) needing homes.

The other idea, that all parents want to be parents is pretty funny. I had a good friend who spent years trying to convince doctors that SHE NEVER WANTED CHILDREN. Finally, in her forties they said "Yea, ok." There really are a significant number of people who don't want and have never wanted children. (And, unfortunately, a significant number who SHOULD never have had them - my sister being a prime example).

Thanks for a great post, as always.

Ciao,

Romee
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 13:07
Comment from: soblessed [Member] Email
Hey Romee:

It fries your cupcakes? Well, it boils my potatoes!!

another good post, Abby :)
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 13:56
Comment from: Lisa [Member] Email · http://guatemala.adoptionblogs.com
As always, exemplary.
L.
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 18:35
Comment from: soblessed [Member] Email
"another good post, Abby :)"


OMG, sorry, Sandra!! I had just read a blog of Abby's and wrote her name instead of yours.

Sorry, it was a crazy day and the ole noggin ain't what it used to be.......
PermalinkPermalink 06/16/07 @ 22:08
Comment from: Heather Lowe [Member] Email · http://unplanned-pregnancy.adoptionblogs.com/
Romee,
Of course there will always be children needing adoption. The point is to try to minimize it as much as possible, and to make sure it doesn't happen for the wrong reasons. But yes, rational minds agree that there will always be children needing homes.
- Heather
PermalinkPermalink 06/17/07 @ 06:28
Comment from: romee_1101 [Member] Email
Heather,

I concur and support all efforts to minimize the need for adoption. I don't think I have ever said otherwise.

However, on adoption.com and other places I have heard the following: adoption is racist, adoptive parents only want white babies, adoptive parents don't care about birthmothers, adoptive parents don't care about the heritage or connection of their adopted children, adoptive parents are committing cultural genocide, and the list goes on.

I look at my little boy, who is the light of my life, who is not white, who I will and am doing everything in my power to keep connected to his birth culture, who I wish could know his birth family and who I will help find if he ever wants that, who's birth mother I can only respect and feel a wish to know, etc. AND - I am not an anomaly. I know so many adoptive families who are striving also to do all of the above, who support reform and support their children's birth countries.

I support adoption reform. I support children in poverty overseas (literally - so their parents can raise them and keep them safe, healthy and educated). I am not stupid, wealthy, ignorant, racist, or any of the other comments I have heard. I am a mother and I love my son.

It breaks my hear to hear the things lobbed at adoptive parents - or anyone, for that matter.

Romee




PermalinkPermalink 06/17/07 @ 10:15
Comment from: AdoptionBlogs Editor [Member] Email · http://editor.adoptionblogs.com
I was thrilled when another blogger mentioned this and am just as happy that this great man and the organizations he supports are getting seen here as well! Thanks!
PermalinkPermalink 06/17/07 @ 19:27
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