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06/18/06
Asking for Thoughts ....
Posted by : Sandra Hanks Benoiton in International Adoption Blog at 12:21 am , 825 words, 94 views
Categories: Kid stuff
Categories: Kid stuff
Mark and I are uncomfortably perched on the horns of a dilemma. For the past months we've been running from one end of the see-saw to the other hoping the fulcrum will shift a bit and give some idea of on which side of the issue we should sit down and stick. No luck, so far.
Then, last night I had the idea to ask for opinions here. After all, Blogreaderland has a population of smart people with loads of diverse info and insights, some of which you might be willing to share with me.
So...
(Patience, please, as I lay the groundwork and give the info you'll need to form an opinion ... )
Sam is three and a half years old ... he'll be four in November. Here in Seychelles, most kids start school at three. He hasn't, as I feel three is just too young to join the queue if not required by circumstance, and I rather like having him home and enjoy the 'home schooling" we do now. Also, I think he gets a lot out of the extras he enjoys, like nature hike 'adventures' and tide pool explorations.
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About five minutes after we brought him home in 2003, we put his name on the list for admittance to the International School, which is in Victoria, about a 40 minute drive each way from home. The school is an expensive private institution, popular with ex-pats and Seychellois alike, so places are coveted and not easy to assure. It was only two months ago that we learned that he had a definite in for the school year beginning next September ... the class they call "Reception 1".
Last Friday he had his Orientation Day ... an 8 'til noon session in his designated future classroom and with 'his' teacher, where he joined in the activities of the kids who are finishing their first year. He enjoyed it, but hasn't wanted to talk about it at all, even to the point of saying, "I don't want to talk about my new school!" (He was impressed by the cake, however, as one kid was leaving the school and her parents brought the makings for a farewell party.)
The International School is English-speaking and can provide education up to A Levels (like high school and a bit of Community College). University requires leaving the country.
The alternative is the local government school in our village. It is old and tatty. Many of the teachers have no more than a rudimentary education themselves and Creole is the language spoken.
So, here are our options ... and where we're torn ...
Do we:
Start Sam in the International School in September, packing him into the car for almost an hour in both directions, paying a fortune (by the way), and set him on the road that he'll be following for the next 20 years now?
Put him in the local school, which will start in January 2007, not September 2006, for the first school experience, where he'll integrate with neighbors, speak Creole and be near home?
Keep him home for another year, continue with the home schooling and extra-cirricular activities?
Starting him at the International School will give him a jump on the following year, get him into the swing of the educational system he'll spend the rest of his pre-college years in, allow him to begin making friends, and where he will be taught by professionals, in English, the language he thinks in and that we speak at home.
Starting him at the local school will not be academically significant, but will see him become fluent in Creole (which may take him back a step, as he'll have to assimilate the language while learning his ABS's, etc.) and build relationships with kids that live in our area.
Keeping him home will give him all the benefits of individual attention, more time with Mom and Sis, and give one more year of being a little guy before all the weight of the world that begins with school, then continues for a lifetime, starts.
I'm well aware that my tendency is to want to keep him near, but am I holding him back? Is three and a half the right age for school? Will he be bored out of his gourd with no one but his old mom and baby sister if we keep him home another year? How important is socialization at this stage?
I didn't start school until I was five. Same with my sibs. I sent my bio son, now 35, to preschool at three because I became a single working mother, and I wasn't happy about that at all. Is the idea here that kids NEED to be in school at three a valid one?
I so look forward to hearing thoughts on this. The see-saw is making us dizzy and we have to get off one end of the thing very soon. Thanks in advance to all who give this any time and energy ... it will be appreciated.
Then, last night I had the idea to ask for opinions here. After all, Blogreaderland has a population of smart people with loads of diverse info and insights, some of which you might be willing to share with me.
So...
(Patience, please, as I lay the groundwork and give the info you'll need to form an opinion ... )
Sam is three and a half years old ... he'll be four in November. Here in Seychelles, most kids start school at three. He hasn't, as I feel three is just too young to join the queue if not required by circumstance, and I rather like having him home and enjoy the 'home schooling" we do now. Also, I think he gets a lot out of the extras he enjoys, like nature hike 'adventures' and tide pool explorations.
SPONSOR
About five minutes after we brought him home in 2003, we put his name on the list for admittance to the International School, which is in Victoria, about a 40 minute drive each way from home. The school is an expensive private institution, popular with ex-pats and Seychellois alike, so places are coveted and not easy to assure. It was only two months ago that we learned that he had a definite in for the school year beginning next September ... the class they call "Reception 1".
Last Friday he had his Orientation Day ... an 8 'til noon session in his designated future classroom and with 'his' teacher, where he joined in the activities of the kids who are finishing their first year. He enjoyed it, but hasn't wanted to talk about it at all, even to the point of saying, "I don't want to talk about my new school!" (He was impressed by the cake, however, as one kid was leaving the school and her parents brought the makings for a farewell party.)
The International School is English-speaking and can provide education up to A Levels (like high school and a bit of Community College). University requires leaving the country.
The alternative is the local government school in our village. It is old and tatty. Many of the teachers have no more than a rudimentary education themselves and Creole is the language spoken.
So, here are our options ... and where we're torn ...
Do we:
Start Sam in the International School in September, packing him into the car for almost an hour in both directions, paying a fortune (by the way), and set him on the road that he'll be following for the next 20 years now?
Put him in the local school, which will start in January 2007, not September 2006, for the first school experience, where he'll integrate with neighbors, speak Creole and be near home?
Keep him home for another year, continue with the home schooling and extra-cirricular activities?
Starting him at the International School will give him a jump on the following year, get him into the swing of the educational system he'll spend the rest of his pre-college years in, allow him to begin making friends, and where he will be taught by professionals, in English, the language he thinks in and that we speak at home.
Starting him at the local school will not be academically significant, but will see him become fluent in Creole (which may take him back a step, as he'll have to assimilate the language while learning his ABS's, etc.) and build relationships with kids that live in our area.
Keeping him home will give him all the benefits of individual attention, more time with Mom and Sis, and give one more year of being a little guy before all the weight of the world that begins with school, then continues for a lifetime, starts.
I'm well aware that my tendency is to want to keep him near, but am I holding him back? Is three and a half the right age for school? Will he be bored out of his gourd with no one but his old mom and baby sister if we keep him home another year? How important is socialization at this stage?
I didn't start school until I was five. Same with my sibs. I sent my bio son, now 35, to preschool at three because I became a single working mother, and I wasn't happy about that at all. Is the idea here that kids NEED to be in school at three a valid one?
I so look forward to hearing thoughts on this. The see-saw is making us dizzy and we have to get off one end of the thing very soon. Thanks in advance to all who give this any time and energy ... it will be appreciated.
Comments, Pingbacks:
Comment from: Adrienne Bashista [Member] 
· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/
· http://hoping.adoptionblogs.com/
This is so personal to your family, so I can't tell you what to do, but I can tell you that both my boys were very ready for pre-k by the time they turned 3. They are entirely different little fellows, but it became apparent that they needed more than just mommy when they got to be that age. I don't know that they needed full-time hours of more than just mommy, but it sounds like that's your only option.
That said, the pre-k that both of them attended (and Little J still attends now) is not a particularly academic program. "Kids learn by playing" is their motto. So I don't know how much of an academic boost the fancier school will give your son - at age 3 my sons' pre-k focused on things like playing nicely, waiting turns, experiencing new things, valuing each other, reading stories, doing age-appropriate art, and learning manners (appropriate to 3 and 4 year olds). Will what they will be doing at the further away school be that much different than what they do locally? And if there is a difference and you choose to go locally, you can probably teach him the more "academic" stuff at home.
The commute to that private school seems really arduous. Having spent the 2nd half of the school year driving 1/2 hour to dop off(then home) and 1/2 hour to pickup (then home) I can attest to the fact that losing 2 hours of my day was a pain I could do without. It sounds like you will be in the car 80 minutes each way...for the next 15 years! That doesn't sound fun at all.
I guess I'm weighing on the side of the local preschool, but I don't know how your education system works so I don't know if it would truly put him at a disadvantage or not. What do they need to know by the time they enter kindergarten? Here, it's not so much (or not more than your typical child of decently educated parents would probably know anyway by age 5, whether or not he went to preschool). But perhaps in the Seychelles they need to be further along?
That said, the pre-k that both of them attended (and Little J still attends now) is not a particularly academic program. "Kids learn by playing" is their motto. So I don't know how much of an academic boost the fancier school will give your son - at age 3 my sons' pre-k focused on things like playing nicely, waiting turns, experiencing new things, valuing each other, reading stories, doing age-appropriate art, and learning manners (appropriate to 3 and 4 year olds). Will what they will be doing at the further away school be that much different than what they do locally? And if there is a difference and you choose to go locally, you can probably teach him the more "academic" stuff at home.
The commute to that private school seems really arduous. Having spent the 2nd half of the school year driving 1/2 hour to dop off(then home) and 1/2 hour to pickup (then home) I can attest to the fact that losing 2 hours of my day was a pain I could do without. It sounds like you will be in the car 80 minutes each way...for the next 15 years! That doesn't sound fun at all.
I guess I'm weighing on the side of the local preschool, but I don't know how your education system works so I don't know if it would truly put him at a disadvantage or not. What do they need to know by the time they enter kindergarten? Here, it's not so much (or not more than your typical child of decently educated parents would probably know anyway by age 5, whether or not he went to preschool). But perhaps in the Seychelles they need to be further along?
Permalink
06/18/06 @ 04:57
Comment from: Mary Owlhaven [Member] · http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/
· http://ethiopia.adoptionblogs.com/
OK, girl, you asked for opinions! (grin) Let me tell you my bias up front-- I'm a homeschooling mom. I believe that for most kids, the very best, most invested educators are their own parents. Who cares more than mom?
A point from history. For hundreds of years, the wealthy, when wanting the very best education for their children have chosen to educate their young kids at home, with tutors. Why? Because one-on-one education has been proven over and over to be the best education around.
You are an educated, motivated, caring mom. Your child won't miss anything by staying home another year or two or ten.
Not saying homeschooling is THE solution for you-- only you can decide that. But don't buy that myth that you are inadequate for the job-- you would do great at it.
And as far as "socialization", think back to your own experiences. Most of us who were in the public education system have a fair number of negative, unhappy memories along with the good stuff. Lord of The FLies kind of garbage with kids being very unkind to others.
Again, no one cares more than mom about a child's development. You are capable of teaching him good social skills through example and through play days with friends, etc.
I've said more than enough.
All the best in your decision making.
Mary
A point from history. For hundreds of years, the wealthy, when wanting the very best education for their children have chosen to educate their young kids at home, with tutors. Why? Because one-on-one education has been proven over and over to be the best education around.
You are an educated, motivated, caring mom. Your child won't miss anything by staying home another year or two or ten.
Not saying homeschooling is THE solution for you-- only you can decide that. But don't buy that myth that you are inadequate for the job-- you would do great at it.
And as far as "socialization", think back to your own experiences. Most of us who were in the public education system have a fair number of negative, unhappy memories along with the good stuff. Lord of The FLies kind of garbage with kids being very unkind to others.
Again, no one cares more than mom about a child's development. You are capable of teaching him good social skills through example and through play days with friends, etc.
I've said more than enough.
All the best in your decision making.
Mary
Permalink
06/18/06 @ 08:46
Comment from: Jan Baker [Member] · http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/
· http://birthfamily-search.adoptionblogs.com/
Three seems so young to be worried about whether or not a child is in the more academic school or not. I wonder too why your son doesn't want to talk about the possible new school. That is something I would explore before deciding.
I vote for either keeping him home another year or the local school. Maybe you could supplement what they are teaching him if need be.
I vote for either keeping him home another year or the local school. Maybe you could supplement what they are teaching him if need be.
Permalink
06/18/06 @ 13:39
Comment from: claire [Member]
Sandy, I think that you have already made the decision in your heart. If it were my child, I think that I'd opt for the academic school, and maybe think of moving closer, if that is at all possible. Will CJ be going there as well in a couple years?
Permalink
06/18/06 @ 14:23
Comment from: jlouclare [Member]
Well....Lanny and I talked this one over at length, so first you are going to get our "educator's" opinion. As a second grade teacher I have had a pet peeve all these years. California is on this trend: More and younger is better. So in the past ten years the standards have changed and students are now being taught in Kindergarten what they were taught previously in 1st grade. The curriculum is heavily accademic and most of the day (3 1/2) hours is spent doing reading, writing and math. What has been dropped are the activities that teach socialization skills, listening skills, cooperative learning skills, arts, crafts, creative play etc. When these children come into second grade, we have noticed a huge change in the classes ability as a whole to work together, work independently, show respect etc. So my question would be: How many hours would Sam be in class at the international school and how much of their time is spent on academics? Younger is very often NOT better when it comes to reading, writing and math. Children go through very distinct learning ability levels. For the most part, these are not like a smooth gradual uphill climb, but more like going up steps, sometimes taking a huge step. Each child is ready for these steps at different times. Just because a child is 4 or 5 does not mean that that child's brain is ready for the next developmental stage. If a child is not ready, you can push, for example a math concept at them non-stop, and they still are not going to get it. One of my favorite moments in teaching is to see a child who at the beginning of the year was stuggling at a concept that other children grasped easily. Then suddenly They GET IT! And man do they fly with the concept then BECAUSE THEIR BRAIN IS NOW READY TO ACCEPT THAT CONCEPT. I'm not a big believer in pushing academics into a child before 5. Each child is of course different and Sam is very inquisitive. I think HE will let you know when he is ready to learn more about phonics, math etc. Now the idea of learning a second language to fluency is fabulous. English is already his primary language. Research (and my experiences) shows that it will not affect his primary language or his ability to learn in it. If you don't put him in the international school this year will he still keep his spot for next year? If so I'd recommend that you put him in the local school in Jan., it will be great for socialization and language. (That is if it is 4 hours or less a day. That still leaves time for your home experiences. If it is more than 4 hours a day, I'd say keep him home) Then find out what he would need to know upon entering the international school in Sept 2007 and work on those skills at home. For example here, kids need to know their ABCs, how to write their own name. That reading goes from left to right. How to count to 25, their colors, right and left and some time and order words. The most telling thing to me, however, is Sam's reaction to the "new School". From what you have told me about him, if he is excited about something he talks about it a lot and ask many questions. His silence seems very telling. As a teacher, I always included the children in difficult dicisions that affected them. Wow, that gave me amazing insight and I was always amazed at how well they thought matters out. Do you feel comfortable offering him the options to think about? You got quite a rant form me. Go with your heart. Love you, Jane
Permalink
06/19/06 @ 13:34
Comment from: Michelle Vandepas [Member] · http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.com/
· http://older-parent.adoptionblogs.com/
Jane, This has been helpful for me as well! Thank you!
Permalink
06/19/06 @ 15:31
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