” ['Bones that Float'] … is truly a gift for every adoptive family out there.”
This quote came from an adoptive mom after reading Kari Grady Grossman’s wonderful new book about the Cambodia she came to know and love through her family’s adoption journey.
Much more than a story of one child and one family, “Bones that Float: A Story of Adopting Cambodia” is a tapestry of Cambodian lives, past, present and future, that conveys context and encourages the reader to follow threads from that lead from the cozy sofa that is America, from the swinging baby basket of an orphanage, from the bed of nails that is Cambodia under the reign of terror of the Khmer Rouge, and from the back of a moto in present day Phnom Penh. The result is a process of unfolding understanding, and as one parent put it, peace.
International adoptive parent peace is not easy to come by in today’s climate of suspicion and accusation over irregularities and downright criminal involvement in child trafficking. None too few in the world would have thrown the baby out with the dirty bath water and eye every family with a foreign-born child as complicit in shady dealings.
Many parents have shouldered the guilt and carry it as if the burden is entirely theirs to tote for life. By parsing adoption within the frame of a much bigger picture which includes birth family and community involvement on an amazing level Kari enables readers to face their fears and feelings with, as the mom quoted above put it, ” … with a mixture of pragmatism and hope.”
Spanish-American poet, writer and mother of two adopted from Guatemala, Violeta Garcia-Mendoza in her review for Rainbow Kids e-zine described the book as, “Impossible to put down and haunting long past its end. Three stories add amazing depth to this memoir of adoption that go a long way in helping the reader understand the hypnotic horror and hope Cambodia has to offer in an intimate and unforgettable way.”
And Loung Ung, Khmer Rouge survivor and author of “First they Killed my Father” and “Lucky Child” says, “Told with fierce honesty and an affecting voice, “Bones That Float” is a love story of mother for her child, and a testimony of how love can change the world.”
I asked Kari Grady Grossman for her view of the continuing US suspension on Cambodian adoptions. Here’s her response:
I would like to see it end. There are so many CAMBODIAN AMERICANS who would like to adopt now, and so many children who need families.
The simpliest solution is to require a relinquishment letter with every child from whoever brings them into care, to allow the information contained therein to be transferred to the official paperwork without fear of repercussions. Let the truth follow the child and let the birthfamily own their choice.
And how does she see the future unfolding for Cambodia?
The future of Cambodia is scary to me because of how the culture of corruption teaches children to live, what the wanton destruction of the environment will do to the water and thus, food, resources, and also the disparity between the educated urban dwellers and the uneducated rural people – exactly the same dynamic that fueled the failed communist revolution.
That is why I work at the grassroots level with children in rural schools. The Cambodian government is not going to change, change will have to come from the bottom and work its way up.
Not only is “Bones that Float” about more than adoption, it’s also about more than a book. As the author says: “Bones That Float: A Story of Adopting Cambodia” is more than a book; it’s a movement!”
There will more on this in the next post …
As a Mother’s Day special, if you use the Mother’s Day coupon code when ordering “Bones that Float: A Story of Adopting Cambodia”, you get a $5 discount.
