I'm up to the FOURTH wrinkle on my forehead trying to get the book ready for a Friday deadline, so am tossing this blog post together like a last-minute salad for guests I forgot were coming.

Cleaning out the vegetable drawer and nosing around my desktop are far too similar activities these days, and I apologize for the leftovers.

Tidbit number one:

Brian Stuy of China adoption opinion fame published a post on his blog that has folks all over the Web pondering and discussing.

He's taken on the issue of birth mothers and remorse.

When I interviewed the two birthmothers last year, both matter-of-factly recounted their stories. There was no tears of remorse, although both expressed some regret that they had abandoned their children. Both acknowledged that if confronted with the same situation again, they would abandon their child again. Neither birthmother was very emotional when recounting her story, but rather showed a sense of consignment. They did what had to be done in both of their situations.

Brian is no stranger to criticism, and he's getting some for this post. Lines like, "I'm not saying that the Chinese don't love their children, but it is not often the emotionally-invested love that we in the West feel..." smack just ever so of a hint of superiority that have some people more annoyed than usual with him.

Moving right along ...

I've come across some comprehensive links on Fetal Alcohol issues that I'd like to share.

This one lists:

The most serious characteristics of FASD are the invisible symptoms of neurological damage from prenatal exposure to alcohol. These symptoms persist into adulthood and include the following:

Attention deficits
Memory deficits
Hyperactivity
Difficulty with abstract concepts
Inability to manage money
Poor problem solving skills
Difficulty learning from consequences (understanding cause & effect)
Immature social behavior
Inappropriately friendly to strangers
Lack of control over emotions
Poor impulse control
Poor judgment

These symptoms are not just "behavior problems" but are "soft signs" - symptoms of permanent, unchanging damage to the brain (static encephalopathy) and are not within the child's control.

This one describes characteristics.

This gives a list of distinguishable physical features caused by FAE and FAS and talks about the long term.

Teenagers with FAS often have low self-esteem because of the learning and social differences between themselves and their peers. They may do unsafe things in order to be accepted, such as take a dangerous dare or engage in sexual activity to get love and attention. They have a very poor understanding of consequences and may feel depressed or even suicidal.

Adults with FAS are at high risk for mental health problems. They are often socially isolated, have difficulty with interpersonal relationships and may have difficulty functioning in many environments. Adults with FAS have spotty memories and often have difficulty distinguishing fact from fantasy. They need supported housing and employment programs because independent living is rarely an option.