Believe it or not ... and regular readers will be surprised ... I've come across something that has me stretching out my quads in preparation for jumping on the celeb-adoption-bashing bandwagon.

Yep. After all my on-and-oning about press distortion of situations, truth-bending (or ignoring), and sticking noses where they don't belong, I am now ready to believe what I read and voice a very strong opinion on the rumored adoption plans of a known Hollywood-type celeb of some status, albeit minor.

Ready for it?

Here goes ...

Tom Arnold is an idiot, and he should not adopt a child, if for that reason only.

He's more than welcome to the German drunk I wrote about yesterday, but he's talking about babies and Vietnam, and that's so a no-go in my book. The very thought has me breaking out in a rash almost as irritating as he is.

"The next time Angelina Jolie goes to Vietnam - I mean how much gas does that take - bring back four or five and your boy here will take two of them. She only brought back one baby... Load that plane up," Contactmusic quoted him, as saying.

See? Idiot!

The article goes on to point out that Arnold has a low sperm count ... and if that's not a gift to the world, I don't know what is ... and that he and his wife have decided to try to get their marriage back on track after a separation, and a post-nup agreement. A baby, he figures, will do wonders for their relationship.

YIKES!

Okay, I realize this guy's a loser who is more than likely simply yapping about adoption in a pathetic attempt to get some attention paid to his sagging career and sorry self, being the sort that must figure any publicity is better than the none he deserves. (Yes, I know I've played right into his hands, but fodder is fodder, after all ... and that's how media works, you see.) And I would like to believe that any homestudy agency would run screaming from his door, waving whatever NO WAY, JOSE! banner they might carry for just such purposes.

So ... in case my considered judgment should at any point come to play in this potential comedy of horrors, put me down as a 'no'.

Should Tom Arnold's fans take issue with what I've said here today, I'll be happy to discuss my POV with both of you.