UNICEF released figures last week showing that fewer of the world's children under the age of five-years died last year than usual ... less than 10 million of them ... a turn of events the organization is calling "solid progress on child survival".

"This is an historic moment," said UNICEF executive director Ann Veneman. "More children are surviving today than ever before. Now we must build on this public health success to push for the achievement of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs)."

The MDG commitment was to reduce the under-five mortality rate by two-thirds between 1990 and 1215. Seeing as how we now see a 25% improvement out of the desired 66% with only 6 years for the leftover 41% to happen, I'm guessing we'll be falling short on that goal.

UNICEF has attributed the drop in mortality to "widespread adoption of basic health measures, including early and exclusive breast feeding, measles immunization, Vitamin A supplements and use of insecticide-treated bed nets to prevent malaria", which although sensible, solid, good practice methods of keeping little kids alive hardly jives with the millions and millions of dollars the UN has plowed through in the last 17 years in the name of children.

Excuse my cynicism, but I'm guessing that a true ledger showing UN spending over the past 17 years compared to results would look rather lopsided. How many millions does it take, really, to provide mosquito nets and vitamin A supplements, and how many convoys of white SUVS need to be flown into African countries to convince mothers to breastfeed?

At the same time UNICEF is tooting its own horn over this so-called "solid progress", the part of the same MDG that addresses maternal health is taking hits in Nigeria where maternal mortality takes a huge toll.

There are about 30 million women of child bearing age in the country, and 145 die daily from complications in delivery ... almost 53,000 a year, on average.

A survey by UNICEF shows that the major killer of pregnant women in Nigeria is haemorrhage which claims 23 per cent of the victims while infection rate is put at 17 per cent. Anaemia, malaria, obstructed labour, unsafe abortion and eclampsia each contributes 11 per cent of the deaths, while other causes account for five per cent.

A disturbing trend, according to the survey, is that about 58 per cent of pregnant women in Nigeria deliver at home in the hands of quacks and only 37 per cent have access to health facilities.

UNICEF did a survey ... Any idea what surveys cost? ... on media coverage about women and children and found that very little attention was focused on maternal and child health.

Duh.

The UNICEF head honcho in charge of such things has stressed "need for greater enlightenment on maternal and child health by the media", but all sorts of reasons have been presented as obstacles to that happening: listed ownership structure (which determines editorial policies), the lack of funds, inadequate knowledge of health issues and dominance of male practitioners as media managers.

Once again, duh.

Sorry if I'm annoying anyone with this today, but I am really, really tired of the UN polishing its own apple at the expense of providing apples to those who could really use the calories, then showing off the shine and expecting the world to be impressed simply because its told it should. Sure, that has worked for half a century or more, but the apple's getting old.

If fewer under-fives are dying because more are healthier and not because fewer are being born alive, that's great. If more mothers are dying in the process, that's not great.

No matter how the numbers are being shuffled this week, one thing is clear and un-massageable ... there are more children orphaned today than there were yesterday, and by 2020 there will be in the neighborhood of 40-some million of them.

In the meantime, the head of the UN is shocked by conditions the rest of us can see in our sleep, UNICEF coughs up dough like a lactose-intolerant toddler for exotic photo ops, and 50-cent mosquito nets sit in warehouses.