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There have probably been hundreds of posts and blogs written worldwide, dedicated to the question of how to find a “good” agency. Some may detail things to look for; others may focus on what you should try to avoid, but either way, there is no shortage of tips on what to consider when selecting an adoption agency to complete your international adoption. That said, let’s say you do all your homework. You research your agency thoroughly, ask questions of numerous employees/consultants, obtain references and check them all quite completely. Let’s say you try to find the most negative review available, and wind up finding that even the most negative review really…isn’t. You elect to go with aforementioned agency with gusto. You are ready to get this journey underway.
Great! Things start off on a positive foot, and your personal consultant seems helpful, knowledgeable, friendly, and focused on helping you move through the process. For whatever reason, though, the rug then gets pulled out from under your feet. Your country of choosing closes its doors on the program. Your agency drops a major ball–or perhaps even worse, closes suddenly. You feel lost, betrayed, frustrated, uncertain. Then what?
Hopefully, you’ve already asked the “what if” question regarding the possibility that your child’s birth country could close adoptions (or your home country should do the same) during the process. Any worthwhile agency will openly address this possibility. Is it unlikely? Perhaps. However, given the fluid nature of international adoptions, it should never be entirely ruled out. That said, most reputable agencies have an “insurance-like” program that transfers the money you’ve already invested from one country to another in instances such as these (while staying with the same agency, that is). It is always so important to check this out, just to be on the safe side.
Okay, let’s say your agency drops said proverbial ball. They leave you, a prospective adoptive parent, stranded. You’ve been misinformed, led astray, and so on. What do you do? There’s not one “right” answer to this question. I’ve had two acquaintances duped by adoption agencies–one was deceived about her child’s medical history/pre-existing conditions and another one was left stranded after the agency closed it’s doors upon receiving heavy scrutiny about the legitimacy of their adoptions (to say the least). What to do?
Well, in the first instance, medical treatment was sought out immediately, a grievance filed with the agency, and that was that. It didn’t move mountains; there was no resolution as there was no resolution to find. The child in question was now their son; this family was focused on obtaining the greatest possible medical assitance to treat his medical issues. However, the adoptive mother has made it a steady goal to inform PAPs that this lack of information is a true occurance even when you feel you’ve done all the research possible, and it happened to her while using said agency. Yes, these things do happen–sometimes it’s impossible to mark all medical conditions in your child’s home country–but it’s also an ethical agency’s responsibility to inform all PAPs and APs to the absolute best of their knowledge, even if it means there might be some sort of delay or disruption in the process. As far as those who have dealt with the second circumstance, where the agency closes its doors and leaves you hanging mid-adoption, that situation is a little trickier. Depending on your journey’s progress, you might require time to grieve your loss before attempting to adopt again. It’s natural to feel anger, sadness, loss, and/or frustration. While some agencies will consider reimbursing the agency fees you have already invested, you will probably still have to pay said fees to another agency; this doesn’t even touch the issues of “in country” fees–that could be an entire post in itself. Thankfully, however, there are many agencies out there willing to help you when you feel yours has left you stranded, regardless of your surrounding circumstances.
