Or: Why it occasionally looks like Sandra goes out of her way to annoy some people.

If you're approaching the international adoption world from somewhere out there where it all seems reasonable, clear-cut and simple, sooner or later you are bound to come up against brick walls intentionally built to make the process sound either impossible, immoral, unethical, or otherwise a generally bad idea.

As an adoptive parent, an advocate for children and for adoption, and a blogger for Adoption.com, it is my responsibility to point out the chinks in that wall, and also the reasons behind the hasty and shoddy construction.

As surprising as it can seem to those new to adoption, there is a small, but vocal and determined contingent who would very much like to see the end to the adoption of children in the world altogether. They are often aggressive, insulting, intimidating bullies.

Whenever I come across Internet harpings on the 'evils of adoption', accusations of inherent nastiness, a certainty of horrible consequences and assumptions of greedy self-centeredness on the part of adoptive parents, I react.

When messages of "It's better for anyone to be dead than adopted!" start
making the rounds, again ... and since this is what ends up at the bottom line for some, it comes up often ... my first thought is how coming into contact with that sentiment would strike a person or a family at the beginning of the process.

I imagine potential international adoptive parents stumbling across such thoughts in their efforts to educate themselves, and arriving at the conclusion that if they do bring a child into their family it is more than likely to hate them and resent the adoption for the rest of its life.

This ... and the idea that leveling the course starts with everyone having access to the same page ... is the reason I sometimes post rants that end up annoying or offending those whose propaganda I'm ranting in response to.

I know some may think that I use this space to vent personal beefs, but careful reading will show that it's adoption I vigorously champion, not myself.

I have a personal blog to go to when I want to throw a hissy ... and a husband who happens to be a great listener. These blogs are for informing.

If you'd like to see the long version, complete with flourishes, click here.