Comments on: For Newbies: Why speak out?

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 04:08:42 +0000

Ahhh, but YOU did join a crucifixion party. A crucifixion party of adoptees who aren't even anti.

By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton

Sandra Hanks Benoiton — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:03:00 +0000

You’ve got that narrow, “If you’re not with us, you’re against us” thing going here, Nicole. More of that unhelpful finger-wagging and tsk-tsking, I’m afraid. Not joining a crucifixion party does not equal being against reform.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:56:56 +0000

No Sandra, I did not pull it out of a hat. I pulled it from reading your comments on Subversive Writer's blog. You joined Elisa in labeling adoptees who have less than 100% happy feelings about adoption as angry and bitter and anti-adoption. Elisa seemed unable to distinguish between pro-reform and anti-adoption, and vitriolically lumped all of us together and wrote hurtful, prejudiced, and hateful things about many adoptees and us n-moms.You clearly supported her rantings.

That's where that comment came from.

By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton

Sandra Hanks Benoiton — Fri, 13 Jul 2007 04:23:11 +0000

Nicole,
You pulled that one out of a hat ... or somewhere.

I welcome, embrace, jump up and down in unbridled joy, whenever I come across anyone with real reform ideas, suggestions or practices.

Unfortunately, what floats to the surface with far too much regularity consists of nothing more than finger-wagging, head-shaking, tsk-tsking tendencies to throw the baby out with the bath water, along with a self-rightous claim of complete ownership of the reform agenda.

By: Nicole

Nicole — Thu, 12 Jul 2007 22:02:47 +0000

"Whenever I come across Internet harpings on the 'evils of adoption', accusations of inherent nastiness, a certainty of horrible consequences and assumptions of greedy self-centeredness on the part of adoptive parents, I react."

Yup. And you also seem to react when you just run into people who are pro-reform, rather than full-out anti.

Why is that?

By: Kelly

Kelly — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 14:31:30 +0000

It’s not just international adoption!! Keep on throwing the hissy fits. Education of these issues is extremely important.

By: Sandra Hanks Benoiton

Sandra Hanks Benoiton — Wed, 11 Jul 2007 04:42:38 +0000

"It shouldn't be easy, but it's not impossible, right?"

So right!

By: miriam

miriam — Tue, 10 Jul 2007 21:35:34 +0000

I'm all over this new "for newbies" series- thanks for writing for us little guys.

My husband and I can honestly say we never fell for the disney-fied version of adoption as ultimate selfless do-gooder for kids who will be eternally grateful stuff. But the other side of that, which you wrote about here, that does get discouraging at times. We might not feel fear of out child resenting the adoption (yet), but we do worry about all the difficulties, ethical questions, financial obstacles and outsider's opinions. Right now our answer to that is to find as many first-person accounts as we can, and see where we'll go from there.

It shouldn't be easy, but it's not impossible, right?