Adoption journeys begin at a crossroads. The junction offers options that must be considered before the first steps can be taken: domestic private infant adoption, adoption domestically from foster care, or adoption of a child from another country.

Each path can lead to a happy family, but to get to that place you have to pick one, then get moving.

Let's look at some of the things you need to think about ...

If a family is determined to be present at the very beginning of a child's life, domestic infant adoption is the only way to accomplish that. Internationally adoptable children are rarely available before they are at least three-months-old, and usually much older.

Some countries, like Ethiopia, do occasionally have children younger, but given the adoption process itself, referral times and such, even a newborn has a few months growth on before parents actually meet their child.

Older children can be a perfect fit for some families, and many children are available domestically through foster care. The need for permanent families for these kids is great. Of course, kids past babyhood in other countries pray for parents, too.

Most countries require parents make at least one trip to the birth country. Some demand more. Sometimes it's only a week or so that's needed to complete the in-country process, but adoptive parents have been known to stay much, much longer in cases when, for one reason or another, adoptions have proven to be problematic.

If travel is impossible, a few countries ... Korea and Ethiopia, for example ... allow a child to be escorted home. This involves extra costs to cover the adult traveling with the child, often an agency employee, but saves on family travel costs, work time lost, etc..

Spending some time in the birth country of your child is a valuable expenditure, however, and I highly recommend international adoptive parents travel for their child if at all possible. Nothing else can provide the context so necessary for raising children with roots in another land.

If a family wishes for an "invisible" adoption, one in which all family members resemble each other in race and ethnicity, many potential birth countries are ruled out from the beginning. Domestic adoption does not necessarily mean same-race, but in private infant adoption the physical characteristics of birth parents can be seen, and in foster adoption are already manifest.

If cost is a deciding factor, domestic foster adoption is the best option as the fees are low, if at all, and there may also be financial assistance available. US private infant adoption can be expensive, well into the thousands of dollars. International adoption is expensive, and costs vary country-to-country and agency to agency. Adopting independently can save money, but this is not possible in many countries.

International adoptions require mountains of paperwork. Because there is another country's government involved, there are more hoops to jump through than just those the US puts in place ... but don't think America's are a piece of cake. Dealing with Homeland Security and the FBI can be daunting, and frustrating.

Because the media eats celebrity adoptions for lunch, then spits the results out all over the planet, some people have formed opinions about international adoptions. By adopting from another country, you may find yourself in a position of having to defend your decision, and possibly even your child.

When adding a child from another country to your family, you take on not only a child, but a birth country ... its people and history ... and the entire institution of international adoption. Your world expands to include another people and a desire to protect the option of adoption for those children left behind.

It's a huge responsibility, and a wonderful gift.