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For those of us who have adopted older children internationaly, the language barrier is most likely one of the hardest barriers to get over. While my Ethiopian girls (ages eight and six when we brought them home) picked up English quickly and are doing extremely well, I still worry a lot about when they are without Hubby or I. I don’t want them to get confused or upset over questions about what they are saying or not understanding from others. I’m going to make a short story long, but if I leave out details it won’t make a lot of sense.
This weekend we all went to an amusement park. We went to this same park last year when the girls had only been home a few months. I must emphasize that we really felt the girls would do well in this or we would have never gone. Going to an amusement park the first year is kinda a “no-no” with most adoption experts. Our reasons for going? We were visiting friends in the area, the girls were doing great and would have a good time, we also were willing to leave at a moments notice if things got to overwhelming for them. This was explained to Meg ahead of time so she wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t get to do our normal amusement park routine. We had a great time and spent most of the day in the park. I had honestly expected us to spend one or two hours tops. I will never forget Enu’s face after we took pictures of the family with Little Bill. She said,”Mom, thank you for bringing us here, this place.” She was in such awe that there could be a place so fun and exciting.
Last year, I was so scared of losing them in the park and them not being able to talk with people to find us. In my explaining to them what to do if they got lost I used words that really upset them without even thinking. (We teach our kids to find “another mommy with kids” if they get lost. We do this for many reasons I won’t go into now, but if you want to know why I read a lot about teaching kids safety and how to follow their instincts in a book called, Protecting the Gift So we tell them to find a woman with children around her, tell her they are lost and give her our cell numbers that the kids keep with them. Whenever I give this speech I tend to get emotional at the thought of losing my kids.) So here we are at this huge parking lot and Mita and Enu hear the words “another mommy” coming out of their new mommy’s emotional mouth. Not my finest moment. They were clearly confused and probably a bit scared as well. We finally got the point across and we could see the relief on the girls’ faces so I knew they understood.
This year, the girls are great with English, but I still find them to be a bit immature for their age with amusement park manners, staying close, etc. I bought all four girls wristlets for them to keep our card with our information and cell numbers on it, just in case. Thankfully we have never had to use them, but they do make me feel better.
So my whole reasoning for telling you all of this is to remind you that while our kids safety is always our priority, we need to make sure that they understand how to be safe, what to do if they do get lost and we also have to remember that they may be nine years old, but may not be acting nine years old yet. We have to treat them by their maturity and lanuguage capabilities with some matters. This may not be popular as many kids want to be with friends or go off without mom and dad. Parenting isn’t always popular though!
