Gay is not fond of children. She is SO not fond of children that she made a very early and surgical decision not to ever have any. Since that time, she's been completely blissful about her child-free status. For the greatest part, none of her close friends have had children, as being around them quite gives her the willies so she's tended to avoid people who come equipped. For the first eight years of our friendship, Mark and I were virtually kidless, as well ... aside from the years we had T, but he was not a baby ... and she was most pleased that was the case.

She has been known to say the most awful things about children, specific and in general, and has scared the bejeezus out of more than one doting parent with suggestions of what should be done with squalling brats.

When the topic of adoption comes up, she happily volunteers to take in any 6'5" 19-year-old who gardens, but anyone younger, shorter or less beefy can forget it.

As for our adoptions, she has never been anything but amazingly supportive, loving and encouraging. Her reputation, however, had my MIL suggesting we might want to rethink a second child because, after all, "Won't that be hard on Gay?"

She insists now that she only tolerates Sam and Cj because she loves Mark and me ... Sam's adventures and days at the beach alone, just Gay and my kids, aside.

I offer this photo, taken at Christmas 2003 when he was 14 months old, as a tool for you to use to help you judge whether or not she tolerates Sam, or loves him.

(The man in the chair is our friend Andrew.)