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Without realizing I was going to do it, I just took a deep breath and let out a huge sigh as I placed my fingers on the keyboard in preparation of composing this post.
I am SO tired of the whole Madonna mega-media-mess, but I can not allow myself to shut up about it just yet.
I was over on the forums this morning and opened a Madonna-related thread to see how opinion is running at the moment. I started reading with the first post from much earlier in the week and was not surprised to see how the mood and judgments shifted as the week went on.
How quickly people jumped on the “trash Madonna” bandwagon with the first hint of sly innuendo. How readily and easily rabid opinions took shape based on nothing but rumor and speculation. How willing people were to assume the worst without any real information, and to defend their positions of condemnation. And these are adoptive parents!
Hold on, folks! Do you know what you’re doing?
Here’s what I posted in response:
I think it’s important to mention that the die-hard anti-adoption people LOVE this sort of situation. With the media being total pinheads about adoption in general, the anti-crowd jumps in immediately with their garbage to hijack the story and set the agenda in a way that they hope will cast all adoption in a negative light.
There are many out there … look to Austrialia for some of the most vociferous … whose entire goal in life is to remove the option of adoption from the world.
It is vital that those supporting adoption … those of us who understand deeply the consequences of institutional life and hopelessness because our kids remind us every day of what could have been … fight these nuts with everything we have and realize that the news we are getting has been manipulated to make adoption look evil, immoral, etc.
Remember this before swallowing news versions of events hook, line and sinker: people who would deny all children a loving adoptive family are hoping you’ll take the bait.
Over on the Older Parent Blog today, I’ve written about a flakey study that’s grabbed global headlines with some very thin science, and made the point that the media will go for anything, any time, any where that fills column inches and sells.
Mention Madonna in any context and she fits the bill. Add adoption, and ZOWIE!, it’s super grist for the greedy mill.
Can we say, manipulation?
If you think the anit-adoption contingent is too busy minding their own business to orchestrate a push on the press to ram their agenda down the throats of everyone who reads or watches TV or to use the celebrity bait to attract negative attention like flies to a rotting carcass, you are woefully, and dangerously, naive.
The group that hates adoption, that thinks of it as immoral and casts all adoptive parents as evil baby stealers is very, very united in their negativity. Their agenda is clear, but easily confused for concern by the uninitiated, as they know exactly where softly, softly works better than a slap in the face. They understand that pro-adoption people come in all different shapes and opinions and that we differ greatly on many topics, and they use this.
Please keep this in mind the next time you’re tempted to condemn someone else’s adoption, and remember that you don’t know nothin’ about nothin’ unless you’ve been involved or have access to the horse’s mouth.
I want to bring up the point again that you don’t have to be anti-adoption to see serious ethical questions in the Madonna adoption.
I support adoptions that need to happen…there are many cases where adoption is the best option. I just don’t think this is one of them.
But upon what are you making that judgment?
My point is that the information isn’t. Rumor and inuendo and manipulated media does not make fact, and without facts who’s to say if this is an “adoption that needs to happen” or not.
you don’t know nothin’ about nothin’
I sure learned this after having foster children and having others judge my family. They didn’t know nothin’ about nothin’ about us. Good point to remember. We really don’t know about Madonnas personal life – we just think we do.
We really don’t know about Madonnas personal life – we just think we do.
Good point, Michelle. We’re encouraged to “think we do” because once we’re ‘involved’ we’re more likely to keep buying the newspapers and mags, etc. and to keep the money wagon rolling. Pardon me for sounding paranoid, but it really is a plot.
OK I better start by saying that I am not anti adoption. Do I think there are oustanding overseas adoption agencies? Absolutly. Do I think there are some horrendously corrupt overseas adoption agencies? Absolutly. I’m also all for parenthood. As a primary teacher, I have seen all kinds. Young parents, older parents, foster parents, adoptive parents, same sex parents, multi- generational parents. In EACH catagory I have seen the fabulous, the good, the mediocre, the bad and the horrendous. Because of this I don’t want to make statements like “adoption is good”, or “adoption is bad”. There is a whole range and it depends solely on the commitment and intent of the agency and the people adopting. I don’t know what the commitment or intent of Madonna is. However, I have very little simpathy over the media turmiol she now finds herself in. This is the woman who has spend millions of dollars over the years in self promotion in the media. She has based her personna and fame on being as outragous and in your face as possible and has enjoyed every minute of it. Everytime her popularity has waned she has come up with a new way to promote herself. She has worked very hard to invite the media into her personal life and have her name become a common household expression. And now she is surprised and shocked that the media have glommed onto this story. Please! I agree that some of this media glut is being pushed from the anti-adoption front. Sadly however, I also think that a big part of it is just the way of tabloid news. This has been going on for a long time. Find the dirt, the controversy on the rich and famous and blast it to the world. And if you can’t find it, the make it up! For Madonna’s sake and mostly for the sake of all of her children, I hope it dies down… for how normal a life could you have growing up in the midst of all that. Jane
All true, Jane.
It used to be only the tabloids that were careless about facts, but the slippery slope of sensationalism …formerly territory abhorred by real journalists…is now well travelled.
Why?
Because it sells. Because people want it. Because it’s easier than thinking. Because standards have fallen woefully low.
This is dangerous on many levels, the future of adoption being just one.
WAOW! Once again, you managed to write exactly what I was feeling, Sandra. In fact, I had started to draft something very similar and then had to stop because Bhavishya needed my attention!
I think that people like to be negative about people and celebreties especially…why? No idea! Jealousy? And this is why people write carbage in trashy papers and why people buy them as well…a vicious circle!
What the heck do we know what really happened?
I think I will put a link on my blog towards your post if you don’t mind…
Have a great Sunday…are you going to the beach for a picnic today? If so have a dip for me please
Great minds, and all that;-)
I will thank you for the link, and do a double dip for you!
I was thinking about this all again and the thing that keeps coming back to my mind is:
“Whom are we to judge?”
Bonswar