I'm still on my sibling soliloquy ...

Not only have my brothers not met some of my children, some of my children have not met my children.

With such a huge gap between my first set of kids and my second ... a chronological space of thirty-two years and a physical distance of more than 10,000 miles ... I've never imagined the four of them growing close.

My oldest daughter's daughter is a year older than Sam, so it's not likely that Jen will spend much time in the sandbox with her little brother. My granddaughter, Sam's niece, is more likely to be the one showing her miniature uncle how roller skates work and where the best bugs are when we make our way to the US for a family visit.

Big brother, Jaren, may be happy to give a few guitar lessons, but until Sam's old enough to go out for a beer they won't have too much in common.

That's fine. The reality dictates that my older kids and my younger kids will have very different, very separate lives that overlap rarely. The only commonality is me, and even I'm not the same for all of them. I was a teen when the older two were born, and in my fifties when Sam and Cj came along. The teen me may still be in here somewhere, but the fifty-something woman was no where to be found in 1969. I'm not only a different person than I was thirty-seven years ago, I'm a different mom.

This thought gives me pause for both sets of kids. Jenn and Jaren had a young mom, and they've had me for almost forty years, albeit at a distance for some of that time. Sam and Cj get me older and grayer, but much more stable, secure and happy, but not for nearly that long.

One of my greatest dreams is to be under one roof with all four of my kids.

(Just writing that line brings tears to my eyes and makes me resent every inch that separates me from those I love.)

As it is, I'm on the other side of the world with two of my kids, another is in California, and the other's in North Carolina. We have some issues with miles.

With a bit of planning, however, and advance notice, I'm hoping to find a time and a place where we can all get together.