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Karen’s great recent post about the home study process really led me to reflect upon my own adoption experiences. Prior to our first home study (to bring Beauty into our family), I had heard the horror stories out the gate about all that could go wrong—the “white glove” social workers, those who asked endless, seemingly unanswerable questions, and so forth—and I admit it: I was a nervous wreck. Bear was only a few months old at the time of our visit, and while I doted (and still do!) on his care to the letter, he managed to somehow scratch a tiny scratch on his face with one of his fingernails. Of course, this took place the very morning that A., our social worker, was set to arrive. Enter frenzied panic! Thankfully, A. (who is also our social worker again for our Ethiopian adoption) made us feel immediately at ease when I voiced my apologetic concern about the almost-invisible scratch on Bear’s face. We are very lucky to have a great social worker with whom we feel so comfortable. However, I have to be honest: the most daunting part for us wasn’t the home study visit/process. It was, and again is, the dossier.
If you say the word “dossier” to any adoptive parent who’s been in or completed the process, you will be met with a sense of sympathy and mutual admiration. Few words rattle the cages of prospective international adoptive parents like the term “dossier”. Even having one international adoption under my belt, when I start thinking about the items needed for the dossier for our son’s adoption from Ethiopia, I break into a cold sweat. So what’s the big deal?
I have to be honest here: the list of paperwork required for even the most timid of dossiers—it’s, well, overwhelming. Ethiopia’s dossier is less demanding than that of Guatemala, but I think the fact that it’s just a laundry list of required documentation (fingerprints, clearances, medical reports, power of attorney forms, photographs, letters of reference, and so on) that has to be “just so”…the very idea is a little nerve-wracking. It’s not enough to compile these documents: many must be notarized, state (and sometimes county) certified, and in some instances, they are quite time sensitive. Thankfully, I’ve yet to hear of an agency that doesn’t walk prospective adoptive parents through the dossier paperwork process every step of the way. I know I had our agency on speed dial during that process while we were working toward adopting Beauty and I have no doubt the same will ring true this time around as well.
Aside from securing finances for an international adoption, the dossier can be one of the most stressful parts of the process. Yet it’s like anything else—if you keep an eye on the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the proverbial rainbow (and move through it step by step), the process is only as overwhelming as a prospective adoptive parent allows it to be. Here’s to hoping I can practice what I preach this second time around, though!
I remember how overwhelming the check list was for our Ethiopia adoption. I hear it is even longer now. Good luck!