Monkeys are coming at me from all directions. First, yesterdays post on the Older Parent Blog had them performing a charming (or, not so) euphemism for drug abuse. In gray wig and support hose (standard geezer disguise I use when writing over there) today I posted fond memories of non-human mothers who've taught me a thing or two or twelve hundred about parenting over the years.

Now, I find out that I am one.

While doing my normal morning troll for stimulation, information and blog fodder, I stumbled across some insults being lobbed like shrapnel grenades thrown blindly into a crowded Toys R Us. There are a number of sites I check out almost daily, and a few are not at all friendly to adoption. I read these with the ever-present-in-the-front-of-my-head thought that learning other views is good, that all information informs, and that other people know stuff I don't. Good for me. Good for open-minded, willing to listen and learn, walk a mile in their moccasins, me.

So, what do I get for my pure-hearted efforts to gain knowledge that may help me be a better mom? Along with every other adoptive parent ... international adoptive parents being right in the middle of the bull's eye ... insulted. Or, at least attempted insult.

In addition to being referred to as "clueless", "ignorant" and just about every other variation on stupid found in spell check programs, and hearing that we have no business on forums or blogs because we're just too dumb to have anything to say, we're called apes.

I'm sure this developed as simply a bit of clever adult adoptee humor based on the shorthand the Internet encourages ... AP= adoptive parent, so AP leads to ape because it's so very amusing. I wonder if these peoples' parents are impressed with the quick wit that comes up with such terms and feels so right about slinging them.

Most comments are posted by people who are obviously well educated, as they toss around loads of big words and poetry while talking of therapy and travel and other such things many in the world would consider luxuries. I suppose it helps to be able to describe the chip on your shoulder with erudite loquaciousness.

Pretty nasty stuff.

Frankly, however, I'm not at all offended to be called an ape. Some of my best friends have been apes ... and they make great moms. Plus, their kids don't go around chucking nasty slurs at large groups of people just because there's something about them they don't like.