A very interesting article in Time has me thinking this morning about sibs ... mine ... my kids' ... other peoples' ... brothers and sisters specific and in general.

Subtitled, "Your parents raised you. Your spouse lives with you. But it's your brothers and sisters who really shaped you. Surprising research reveals how," had me intrigued and examining the connections in my family.

... our brothers and sisters are our collaborators and co-conspirators, our role models and cautionary tales. They are our scolds, protectors, goads, tormentors, playmates, counselors, sources of envy, objects of pride. They teach us how to resolve conflicts and how not to; how to conduct friendships and when to walk away from them. Sisters teach brothers about the mysteries of girls; brothers teach sisters about the puzzle of boys. Our spouses arrive comparatively late in our lives; our parents eventually leave us. Our siblings may be the only people we'll ever know who truly qualify as partners for life. "Siblings," says family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis, "are with us for the whole journey."

What's long been left out of the study of how we get to be us is the relationships we have with our sibs. It's no surprise that with this huge chunk of our formation ignored much of how we become who we are has seemed puzzling.

I'm the oldest of four, and the only girl, so fit a certain profile in the sibling discussion.

Birth order has been studied a lot with personality traits attributed to family age rank commonly accepted. First children are reputed to be high-achieving bossy types while the baby of the clan should end up a rebel with an attitude. Middle kids are said to be less confident and more likely to fade into the background than to stand out.

Girls have a profile much different from boys from Day One, and being a big sister should convey all sorts of life-long attributes.

Some of this wisdom holds true with me and my sibs. Some doesn't. But my family went through many permutations during our childhoods, so we don't easily match any mold ever conceived.

My four kids don't exactly match up to any graph comparing "normal" sibling interactions. The age gap alone sets my family apart. After all, how many have a gap of 32 years between sons bracketed by a 36 year spread from oldest to youngest?

More on sibs to come ... Plus, I'm posting on the Older Parent blog this week about the process of deciding to add a second child to our family, so those interested in reading that part about Sam's sibs can find something there.