Following up on the sibling article I posted about yesterday ...

I've always been happy about being the oldest child, although not always so pleased with having nothing but brothers. Turns out, however, that the fact that my brothers had an older sister could have given them a real advantage:

Last year William Ickes, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Arlington, published a study in which he paired up male and female students--all of whom had grown up with an opposite-sex sibling--and set them to chatting with one another. Then he questioned the subjects about how the conversation went. In general, boys with older sisters or girls with older brothers were less fumbling at getting things going and kept the exchange flowing much more naturally.

"The guys who had older sisters had more involving interactions and were liked significantly more by their new female acquaintances," says Ickes.

(You can thank me later, boys.)

Apparently, they had some impact on me, too. Of course they would, considering how much time sibs spend together. Research from Penn State University studies show that eleven-year olds devote about 33% of their time to brothers and sisters, and even busy teens spend at least 10 hours per week hanging with their sibs. Evidence is now coming to light that suggests our ability to resolve conflicts, relate to the opposite sex, work in a team, develop leadership skills, or learn to recognize those in others, can all start with sharing the cookies.

Even when kids are doing the "I hate you / You're stupid" tango, lessons are being learned.

A Professor at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign (which just happens to be where one of my brothers is a Professor, too) found that kids three to seven have some sort of a fight 3.5 times an hour. The toddlers, two to four-year olds, are the biggest battlers with someone calling someone out every ten minutes or so.

Turns out, though, that kids who learn the best conflict resolution skills at home carry those skills to school and beyond, and are better prepared for the real world where everyone does not just 'get along'.

Certainly, there are other things that could account for what makes some kids battlers in school and others not. But the most powerful variables--parents and personality--were identified and their influence isolated during the course of the two-year-long observations. Socioeconomic status, an X factor that bedevils studies like this one, was controlled by selecting all the families from the same economic stratum. Distill those influences away and what is left is the interaction of the sibs. "Siblings have a socializing effect on one another," Shaw says. "When you tease out all the other variables, it's the play styles that make the difference. Unlike a relationship with friends, you're stuck with your sibs. You learn to negotiate things day to day."

Oops. Have to stop for now. I hear Sam and Cj going at it hammer and tongs in the other room. Excuse me while I put a halt to world war twee. I'll finish this later ...

I'm posting on the Older Parent blog this week about the process of deciding to add a second child to our family, so those interested in reading about Sam's sibs can find a bit there.