Still on topic of siblings ...

From the article in Time ...

One of the greatest gifts of the sibling tie is that while warmth grows over time, the conflicts often fade. After the shooting stops, even the fiercest sibling wars leave little lasting damage. Indeed, siblings who battled a lot as kids may become closer as adults--and more emotionally skilled too, often clearly recalling what their long-ago fights were about and the lessons they took from them. "I'm very sensitized to the fact that it's important to listen to others," a respondent wrote in a recent study conducted in Britain. "People get over their anger, and people who disagree are not terrible," wrote another.

I live half a world away from my sibs now. Twelve time zones is as far as you can go without getting closer, so half a world is accurate not only in feeling, but in fact. When people ask, however, my reaction is always to describe the four of us as 'close'.

I feel a connection to my brothers, and although their day-to-day lives are now beyond my ability to picture since I've been living abroad for thirteen years and am out of touch with the physical reality of their lives ... cars, furniture, stuff like that ... I still FEEL them.

And we do communicate regularly. I'm sure we'd be in touch even more often if I had three sisters rather than the three brothers I was blessed with. ("Blessed with" was not my take as a kid and they came along. I was heartily disappointed when the baby sister I'd imagined ... twice ... turned out to be yet another boy. I grew to appreciate being the only girl eventually, but since that entailed a lot of gender-defined responsibility it took a while.)

Boys can be notoriously slack when it comes to sending cute little notes and keeping up to date on all the small events in lives not right in front of them, and my brothers, to varying degrees, fit this profile. Birthdays and Christmas are occasions for contact, and thanks to the magic of email, the short "how ya doin'?" is easily and often circulated around our little circle. Things that strike as us funny make the rounds, as well, and since all of us have kids that crack us up quips from them often provide the impetus for a quick e-note.

I get on well with all of my sisters-in-law, so get news via them about nieces and nephews ... and brothers, too, and my mom still serves as a conduit of information between all of us and our families.

I've not been to the States since Sam and Cj rounded out our branch of the family tree, so my sibs have not met the youngest of my children.

This makes me sad, and has us beginning to plan a trip to the US in 2007.

More on this in a future post.

I've been posting on the Older Parent blog this week about the process of deciding to add a second child to our family, so those interested in reading about Sam's sibs can find a bit there.