What's in a name?

In the adoption world, a lot.

It's hard enough to stick a life-long moniker on any poor, unsuspecting infant when you're making one from scratch and have nothing but your own roots, family, hobbies ... whatever, to influence your choices. But when your child comes complete with an identity that has little to nothing to do with anything you're familiar with, it's tougher. So ....

To change, or not to change? That is the issue, and vociferous factions line up on both sides.

Birth names, orphanage names, family connections in names, cultural ties to names, names that sound too ethnic or not ethnic enough, names that can't be pronounced anywhere near correctly by anyone not fluent in tonal languages ... all come up regularly as topics for debate and discussion. Ad nauseum, actually.

Add these issues to the fact that names run in trends that dribble from who-knows-where into the common consciousness and reach critical mass before anyone twigs to the notion that every other kid in the first grade will be called ________ by the time your child is six.

It's one of the most difficult aspects of parenting, in my book: choosing a name for your child. And no matter what choice you make, you're pretty much guaranteed to get grief about it when your kid hits about thirteen.

Given that this is 2006, there are, of course, loads of websites that offer up thousands of names, their meanings, history of, famous people named as, etc. Most are interesting and helpful, but weeding through is a time-consuming and brain-rattling process.

I've found one that makes the process much more fun ... a laugh a minute, actually ... and just may warn a parent away from some dreadful naming disasters.

Here's the intro:

It's simple. Some parents are just plain crazy. But few are as crazy as many soon-to- be parents, who, wrapped up in the fear and anticipation, the social status and expectations, go just plain mad...

... As you will see, some parents-to-be have gone so far into the realm of baby-obsession they have lost track of the real, adult world. Their view is so skewed their only concerns are a) making their child "unique" and b) trying to keep the kid from being teased, often with terrible results.

The site is composed of entries, followed by comments. Both are hysterical, although only the comments are meant to be ...

How about Lou? When I was in England, I heard that name and it seemed to have a little tinkle to it. Randy is good too.

(comment) You weren't listening QUITE hard enough in England, were you?

what about Jackie-O for a girl or Sinead?

(comment)Tough call. It all hinges on what hairdo you were planning.

I was thinking of the name Blaise but I don't know if it should be the first or middle name.

(comment)I think it should be a felony.

I do suggest a look around this site when the name game comes up. Not only will you have a good time, you child may thank you later.