June 25th, 2006
Categories: Spreading the Word

Moose, over on the Guatemala Adoption blog, has been posting about raising funds for adoption and giving some good options and ideas.

Quoting from his blog where he details efforts of a group called ChildAdoptionFunds.org:

According to their site, this is what they will help you with:

We hope to empower you with enough confidence, so that you may have greater success with your fundraising goals. We have made available to you a fundraising assistance program, or a “coach” to assist you. The coach will be made available to:

1. Create a fundraising goal
2. Create a goal schedule
3. Identify your focus donor market

4. Develop strategies for fundraising success
5. Provide ideas for fundraisers
6. Assist you in creating appeal letters
7. Answer questions

Thanks for this, Moose, and for your other tips on funding adoptions. Very helpful for many, I’m sure.

Five minutes after being impressed with the way information can be shared, I came across an advice column that points out just how clueless some folks can be about this very topic, and how important it is that those of us involved in adoption work to keep the real scoop out there.

Here’s the question:

My brother-in-law and his wife are adopting a child from another country.

The couple has created a Web site about the impending arrival of their child. They are planning a baby shower.

The couple also has requested financial donations from friends and family, including setting up a PayPal account to expedite donations.

We are aware of the costs associated with an international adoption, but such donations to finance it seem something of an affront to us.

My husband and I are very proud of their decision, as they are unable to conceive. Nothing is more life affirming than providing a stable home for a child, regardless of the country of origin.

I suppose it is the request for money that has us concerned.

As the parents of two children, we understand how much it costs to feed, clothe and educate a child. How can we relate this to them without squelching their excitement about the adoption?

And now … the clueless answer:

Your husband should have a discreet conversation with his brother that can start something along the lines: “I’m worried that you and Sandy can’t afford this adoption. Is everything OK?”

As you point out, one problem with this is that the expenses of child rearing only begin once the child is brought home. If a couple can’t finance the mechanics of having a child (whether through fertility treatments or overseas adoptions), perhaps they should wait until they are more financially secure. Domestic adoptions can be far less expensive. If this couple hasn’t considered an American-born child, they should.

Raising money in this fashion is above and beyond gathering gifts (financial and otherwise) through a baby shower. Either this couple is very hard up for money or they feel entitled to use their child’s adoption as a way to raise funds.

Either answer isn’t good.

Is this another ‘Gee, why don’t we just all live in a perfect world?” – sort of attitude? Can’t manage the “mechanics”, so forget about it? Or just go the cheap and easy ‘domestic’ route, why dontcha, if a spare thirty grand (or so) isn’t handy at the moment.

I really don’t have a problem with the askers, as they’ve made an attempt at getting information.

The answerer, however …

I’m stopping right now, before I say something that’s not nice.

5 Responses to “Adoption Funding”

  1. chelbrit says:

    If your adopting internationaly, maybe money should be considered. But children from our own country also cost way to much to adopt. And, money has never been the judge as to a good/bad parent. I am adopting twins, which makes 7. All my kids came to me not expected to live. One died of a rare form of cancer at the age of 3 1/2. The other kids are 16,11,11 & 8. There are over 150,000 kids in the USA waiting loving homes. We have no money to get to another state to (two trips required), but that does not mean I will not be able to afford my kids. I can not work outside of the home due to the needs of my kids, but we find ways to make due. “Free” adoptions from the county can cost, expecially from another state, can cost up to $5000. I guess these kids should just sit in the system til they age out or someone comes forward with enought money to adopt them. Ha! fat chance!

  2. Izzybaz says:

    I agree with you and the first commenter that the “answerer” is a bit heartless and unrealistic. Very few people have $30,000 sitting around in their bank account. Does that mean that you shouldn’t have/adopt children? The cost of having a child, if that’s an option, is nearly as much if you don’t have insurance. Also, very few people pay outright for expensive items like cars or houses, does that mean they shouldn’t own them? Local adoptions might cost less, but many couples have valid reasons for not wanting to go that route.

  3. jpdakota says:

    Guatemalan adoptions are extremely expensive. But if they feel drawn there, then I cannot judge them. However, in my family it would be incredibly inappropriate to ask for money. In the family we’re talking about here, it may not be a problem at all. Asking a question about affording the adoption may be ok, depending on the family.

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