When starting the process of international adoption, you learn early on that there are quite a few choices that are all yours to make. A very good source of questions and answers is right here on Adoption.com. Loading up on the info may overwhelm at first, but since you will eventually get to each and every concern, you might as well get as much as you can up front.

You can start by contemplating which ethnic group your child’s roots will grow from. If you have a preference, this can dictate which part of the world you’ll be looking toward. If you find that Asia suits, you can choose to look at programs in China, Vietnam, India, Kazakhstan, among many. (Unfortunately, if you’re in some countries, America and Britain included, Cambodia is not possible at this time.) If it’s Africa, there are many options, some programs much easier than others, as some have long residency requirements and systems almost impossible to negotiate. Latin America, the Caribbean, Eastern Europe, Pacific Islands … the options can have you spinning a globe in indecisive agitation for months on end.

Close analysis of your family situation follows as you learn about Special Needs and Waiting Children and help to resolve internal debates over the age of the child you’re adding to your mix and the sort of health issues you can deal with.

Frequently, it will be up to you to determine whether to use an agency or to adopt independently. If you go the agency route, you’ll have to pick one out of many, but there are those whose input you can solicit who are more than happy to share experiences, good and bad. Depending on where you live, you may have a choice in who does your Home Study, as well.

All these decisions require much thought, and weighing options, thinking long-term and trying to anticipate every possible outcome is very, very difficult. Never fear, though. If this is the road you’re meant to travel, you’ll whittle down lists and eliminate alternatives, ending up with what feels right for you and your family.

Then you get to the part you can’t control ... not even a little bit.

Once the process is in full forward motion, things are out of your hands. Higher powers seem to step in at some point, linking your child to your family … when timing and circumstance come together with such impact it can seem a force bigger than our understanding plays a role ... while others on this more mundane plane have a heck of a lot to do with the process while you wait and worry.